I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
