I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
