kristin has been a bad kristin
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
