scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
