You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
