I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
