Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
