Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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