Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
