pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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