My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
