from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
