He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
