What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
