kristin has been a bad kristin
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think people are normalizing furries
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
