Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
