she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have already put on my inside pants.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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