i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
