This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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