And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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