SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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