okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
