Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
