So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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