Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
