Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Randomize
