porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
