mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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