she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
