I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
ugly people sure do ruin things
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
