i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
