My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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