Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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