I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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