A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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