Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
