operation harelip BJ is a go
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
