Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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