I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You can't just leave with hair like that
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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