Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
