Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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