I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
As shirtless as possible
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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