Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
