yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
