it wasn't lemon gatorade
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
