dude i'm inner monologue high
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
