I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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