The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
