They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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