She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude i'm inner monologue high
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
